I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
