Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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