remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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