I bet he comes in French.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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