Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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