Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
