Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
