Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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