terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize