you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
