Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
