I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
