It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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