You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
