I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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