Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize