I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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