And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
