hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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