YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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