I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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