Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
