my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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