We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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