i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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