I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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