I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
