Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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