I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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