I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
