I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It was confusing and full of hummus
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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