just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
