...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
