His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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