I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
