My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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