a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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