no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
