Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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