Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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