Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
