i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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