You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
