so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
