I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My vagina is very pro this idea
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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