I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i love accidental penises.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
