Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
