nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
