Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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