but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
