we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
