Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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