Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
