threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
