Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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