No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
