actually, I'm a sock model
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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