He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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