I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
