He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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