I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
