Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
