just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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